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Pay It Forward Interview: Heidi Kling

For my last days of Paying it Forward, I'll be interviewing authors who have books coming out this spring. While I feel like this week is going so fast, I'm sure Chelsea and Heidi are counting down the interminable minutes until their release days! Hopefully you've taken some time this week to visit some of the other writers' blogs (links below), and let yourself be inspired and encouraged by their publication journeys. There are more than 70(!) writers participating, so clear some time for blog-reading.

Heidi Kling's book, SEA, releases on June 1oth and has one of the most stunning covers I've seen lately. The story sounds equally amazing and after reading Heidi's story and passion below, I'm sure you'll be joining me on the pre-ordered list.

1 . Tell us about your book.

Sea is a romantic adventure story about a fearful California teenager's
life-changing trip to a post-tsunami Indonesian orphanage. Ultimately, it's
a love story about hope after tragedy. (Longer version on my website:
heidirkling.com

2. Can you tell us a little bit about your road to publication?

I found an interested agent at a "Speed dating agent event" in
S.F.--after hearing my pitch. Sea wasn't finished, and we had a trip to
France planned so I actually finished the draft there. I ended up not going
with that agent, but after I finished and polished the book, I asked an
author contact of mine via MySpace for a short-list of YA authors she heard
good things about. She suggested five. I queried them all. My agent wrote
me back right away requesting a "full" of SEA--other things transpired, and
she offered representation. We had multiple offers within two weeks. This
SOUNDS like it was a quicky thing, but I've been writing since I was 17,
earned both my BA and MFA in creative writing, wrote several "drawer"
novels, had queried and been rejected for past projects. SEA, from it's
very inception, felt like it would be for me "the one". And it was!

3. Was there ever a time you felt like giving up? Why didn't you?

I would never have given up on trying to publish SEA. I felt (and feel) so strongly that the story of survivors of a natural disaster, especially teen and
child survivors, don't have a voice in literature or in film--especially
after the news cameras go home and the hype goes away. I feel SEA gives
them a voice. Plus, so many teens and adults feel lost and don't know how
they can find their way back. It's very important to me to be optimistic
and hopeful and I think traveling with Sienna (who feels lost and hopeless)
to Indonesia is a good thing. It was a good thing for me. My point is, I
would never have given up on this book. I would have kept trying and
pushing until it sold.

4. I wouldn't have survived querying/revisions/submissions without...

... my eternally optimistic nature, my incredible support team (husband, friends, online network)and the knowledge that with hard work and some luck we can all find our happy ending.


Now that you've enjoyed Heidi's interview, click here for more inspiration: Lisa and Laura Roecker, Beth Revis, Leah Clifford, Victoria Schwab, Kirsten Hubbard, Susan Adrian, Dawn Metcalf, Kim Harrington, Carrie Harris, Amy Holder, Kathy McCullough, Suzette Saxton and Bethany Wiggins, and Elana Johnson.

Pay It Forward Interview : Chelsea Campbell

For my last two days of Paying it Forward, I'll be interviewing authors who have books coming out this spring. While I feel like this week is going so fast, I'm sure Chelsea and Heidi are counting down the interminable minutes until their release days! Hopefully you've taken some time this week to visit some of the other writers' blogs (links below), and let yourself be inspired and encouraged by their publication journeys. There are more than 70(!) writers participating, so clear some time for blog-reading.

Chelsea Campbell's book, The Rise of Renegade X, releases on May 11th. While I haven't been lucky enough to read it yet, I've been assured by multiple, taunting ARC-readers that I will adore it. (meanies!) After reading about Chelsea's determined and bumpy publication journey, I'm sure you'll be joining me in line on 5/11 to pick up your own copy.

1. Tell us about your book.

The Rise of Renegade X is about a teen supervillain whose plans to go to a prestigious supervillain school are ruined when he discovers his long lost dad is a superhero, of the good-deed doing, rescuing kittens out of trees type. And as if that wasn't bad enough, then he has to go live with him for a while and meet his superhero half siblings and prove that, despite his genes, he's 100% villain, or else he'll have to stay with his superhero fam for the rest of his life (or until he turns 18, whichever comes first).

2. Can you tell us a little bit about your road to publication?

I wrote Renegade X in a month, but getting it published was a long, dark road that took about a year and a half. (Well, to find a publisher. When the book actually comes out in May, it'll have been nearly three years since I wrote it.) It was clearly the best book I'd ever written, and one of my writing friends was convinced it would get snapped up right away. I SO wanted that to happen, but I'd sent out so many books over the years and always been disappointed that, even though this felt like The One (for reals this time), I didn't want to get my hopes up.

Well, I sent it out to agents, including one who still had the last book I'd written and hadn't rejected me yet (even if it had been 6 months -__-). My query letter got over twice as many requests for material than any of my others had, but still everyone said no. Then finally one day, I status queried the agent who now had two of my books and hadn't responded, and she liked it! She liked it better than the first book I'd sent her, which she'd actually read! (And yes, you read that right, I'm not exaggerating, she *liked* it. Not loved.)

So anyway, I signed with her and waited on submissions. We got some responses right away, all rejections. Months went by, and we got a few more rejections. I sent her another book, and after a few more months, she sent that out. When I tried to find out which editors still had Renegade X, she just said "it's still out there." O__o By this point, I was starting to have misgivings, but put them aside because I wanted this so badly. Then several more months went by, no word from her at all, and then I queried her on where she'd sent my books, who had the old one, who had the new one. No response. A week later, I tried again. No response. The next week, I tried calling. Twice. But no answer, and no response to the message I left. No matter how much I wanted and agent, and no matter how many long years it had taken me to get this one, I knew that if she wasn't sending out my books, then she was just getting in my way, because it meant I couldn't send them out either. So I did something that wasn't easy and fired her. (She was relieved.)

It turned out she'd only sent the new book to one publisher, and she sent me a slightly inaccurate list of pubs who had rejected Renegade X or who had just never responded after having it for months. (???) Well, at least I had a list, but Renegade X was used goods. It had been shopped around by an agent who hadn't sold it, and that's the kiss of death for hopeful manuscripts. At this point, everything in my life was going wrong and especially this. I'd wanted to be published so bad I could taste it for a decade and a half. (I started young, but I was serious about it, if not naive and delusional.) I wasn't writing anything new, and my energy for the struggle was running out. Things were at their darkest, and I was ready to give up.

But there were two books that really influenced me. One was Oh, the Places You'll Go! by Dr. Seuss, where he says not to be in the Waiting Place (I was definitely there) and the other was It's Not Easy Being Green, a collection of quotes and anecdotes about Jim Henson. One of the anecdotes was about how he wanted to work at a TV station, but they turned him down. He saw an ad on the wall saying they were looking for puppeteers, though, so he went home, made some puppets, and came back. They hired him, and, well, you can see how puppets worked out for him. The moral of the story was, don't take no for an answer. So that's what I decided to do.

But I felt like a failure, and I was ready to give up. I'd come so far, worked so hard over the years, and I'd gotten so close to my goal--only to completely miss it. The uphill climb was too steep, and I wasn't going to make it. But before I threw in the towel, I made one last effort. I sent The Rise of Renegade X to a small publisher, not really expecting anything to happen.

And then, a month later, they wanted to talk to me. About my book. The editor was interested, but he wanted revisions. I took his notes and added another 20k to the book in about a week, sent it back, and waited. A few weeks later, I had an offer. Someone actually wanted to publish my book!

My writing friends told me I needed an agent. I'd had an agent, and that hadn't worked out so well, so I wasn't eager to get another one. Plus, getting an agent was hard. I'd struggled for years, and all I could get was an agent who only *liked* my books and didn't talk to me. Why go through all that again? But my friends insisted I both needed an agent--a good one--and that, with a pub offer in hand, I could actually get one.

I got some recommendations and ended up contacting Holly Root at the Waxman Agency. She loved my concept. (Loved!) And she wanted to read the book. Well, a few days later, we talked on the phone for longer than I'd ever spoken to the old agent. (Not kidding.) She got my books. She loved Renegade X. We laughed, we talked, and overall just clicked. It was a dream-come-true moment, and I signed with her, and she's been awesome ever since.

Anyhow, I gave her a list of the editors who had rejected Renegade X, and she felt it hadn't been properly shopped, and before accepting the offer I had on the table, we sent the book out to a few more pubs. That's when I got the offer from Egmont. They loved the book and wanted to publish it! I accepted their offer almost exactly 18 months after finishing the book. It was a long journey, and there were a lot of dark moments, but it all worked out in the end.


3. Was there ever a time you felt like giving up? Why didn't you?

Yes! Lots of times. I think every aspiring writer goes through cycles of "I'm just going to quit writing," but then you don't really. You just want to test what it would feel like, to see if you could quit and still live with yourself, but of course you can't. I had a lot of moments like that. But then there was the time close to the end of my journey where I really did want to quit. I was out of hope and couldn't make myself care about writing anymore. But as you can see from my above answer, everything suddenly turned around at the last minute and all worked out, just when I thought it was never going to be.

4. I wouldn't have survived querying/revisions/submissions without _________________.

My crit group/writing friends. They always believed in me, even when I didn't.


Now that you've enjoyed Chelsea's interview, click here for more inspiration: Lisa and Laura Roecker, Beth Revis, Leah Clifford, Victoria Schwab, Kirsten Hubbard, Susan Adrian, Dawn Metcalf, Kim Harrington, Carrie Harris, Amy Holder, Kathy McCullough, Suzette Saxton and Bethany Wiggins, and Elana Johnson.

Pay it Forward Interview: Trish Doller

At noon today, we'll be half way through Pay it Forward interview week -- it's going so fast! Hopefully you've taken some time to visit some of the other writers' blogs (links below), and let yourself be inspired and encouraged by their publication journeys. There are more than 70(!) writers participating, so clear some time for blog-reading.

Today I'm lucky enough to be interviewing the lovely Trish Doller. I found her story of perseverance and pot holes to be courageous and motivational, and I'm sure you will, too.

1. Tell us about your book.

My first book is called MY WAY OR THE HIGHWAY, a YA romantic comedy about a spoiled, rich girl who gets sent on a cross-country teen bus tour after failing her U.S. History final. She misses the bus in New York City, sending her on an even bigger adventure. It's been on submission to publishers since July 2009, but has yet to find a home. In the meantime, I've been working on my next book, which couldn't be further from MY WAY. It's a boy-centric, military-themed YA about a young Marine returning from a deployment to Afghanistan. The tentative title is THE NEW NORMAL.

2. Can you tell us a little bit about your road to publication (finding an agent)?

My road to publication has been filled with potholes--and orange construction barrels. I finished MY WAY in September 2007 and started querying agents in early October. I was fortunate in that I found my agent, Kate Schafer Testerman, by Thanksgiving 2007. She was in the process of starting KT Literary, so we waited to go out on submission until February 2008. Within a few weeks we sold the book, but my editor lost her job in budget cuts and my deal died in the pipeline. I made some revisions and we went back out on submission in July 2009, but we haven't seen the same success we did the first time around.

3. Was there ever a time you felt like giving up? Why didn't you?

I feel like giving up all. the. time. But we came close enough with MY WAY that I believe my time is coming. As much as I love my first book, my second just might be the book of my heart. So I can't give up.

4. I wouldn't have survived querying/revisions/submissions without _________________.

I wouldn't have survived querying/revisions/submissions without my agent, who talks me down whenever I'm feeling frustrated, and Suzanne Young, who is my biggest cheerleader. Oh, and Godiva raspberry-filled chocolate.


Now that you've enjoyed Trish's interview, click here for more inspiration: Lisa and Laura Roecker, Beth Revis, Leah Clifford, Victoria Schwab, Kirsten Hubbard, Susan Adrian, Dawn Metcalf, Kim Harrington, Carrie Harris, Amy Holder, Kathy McCullough, Suzette Saxton and Bethany Wiggins, and Elana Johnson.

Pay It Forward Interview: Susan Adrian

Hello on day 2 of Pay it Forward interview week! Hopefully you've taken some time to visit some of the other writers' blogs (links below), and let yourself be inspired and encouraged by their publication journeys. There are more than 70(!) writers participating, so clear some time for blog-reading.

And *cough* MY *cough* interview is going up today at: http://leahclifford.livejournal.com/ . Go check it out. There's a Mia- haiku involved...

Susan Adrian aka the inspiration behind all those Twitter "tiara days" is a champion cheerleader and beacon of positivity. With all the good karma she's spread, she's due for heaps in return. Watch out for her name in the upcoming years, you'll be seeing it.

1. Tell us about your book.

SALVAGED is the book I'm working on now, and I'm SO excited about it. Here's the basic blurb (I always do one of these while I'm writing the first draft):

Sixteen-year-old Annika (Annie) has never used a computer or a cell phone. She's never watched TV, slept in a real bed, or kissed anyone but Xander. Until now.

Annie's always lived in The Community, an ultra-environmental commune tucked in the canyons of San Diego, led by her idealistic, maybe-crackpot dad. What they can't grow or raise they salvage from the wasteful people of "the wild". You'd be amazed what you can find back of a restaurant. But Xander runs away with Annie's sister Zilla, and Dad sends her to drag them back.

To find them Annie has to venture into the wild by herself, into an alien culture of excess. When she crashes a company picnic she meets Bryan, a cute, rich boy who thinks she's homeless. She lets him think it, lets him help. All she needs is a couple days to get Zilla and Xander.

But once she finds them, Annie's not so sure she wants to return, much less force her happy-go-lucky, impulsive sister back under the strict Community rules. The wild is much more complex and captivating than she imagined. And there's Bryan, who's also just a tiny bit captivating. But if she doesn't bring them home soon, Dad will come after them himself. And the last time he brought a runaway home...that's the one thing Annie won't let herself think about.

Can Annie be salvaged? Does she want to be?

It's a real challenge to get the point-of-view right--a girl who has none of the cultural knowledge most teenagers are drenched in. Of course that challenge is what makes it fun.

2. Can you tell us a little bit about your road to publication (finding an agent)?

Like most other writers, my road has been--and continues to be--decidedly unsmooth. My first book was a historical, set in Chaucer's England, with a 16-year-old protagonist (always the YA!). I got some strong agent interest, but no takers. So I wrote a straight-up contemporary YA, a juicy mix of all my favorite stuff, all my passions. I could tell the difference, between writing what I thought I should write and what I *loved*. Fortunately my agent, the fabulous and sharkly Janet Reid, loved it too. Even though that book didn't sell right out of the box the way we wanted it to, I'm SO glad I wrote it, and that it led me to Janet.

3. Was there ever a time you felt like giving up? Why didn't you?

Of course! I think every writer has those crippling moments where the possibility enters your mind--where the rejections and the doubt monsters get so loud and hurtful you consider just Not Doing It Anymore. You can't face the battery of rejection that is this business without that feeling. The trick is to let yourself feel that way...for about 10 minutes. Then go talk to some of your writer friends and get support. Let their encouragement soak in. And then realize, if you're meant to be doing this--if you've got writing in you--you'll keep doing it anyway. It'll pop out somewhere. You don't HAVE to keep trying to get published, but I have a feeling you probably will. Just like I will. I want others, especially teens, to read and enjoy the stories I have to tell.

4. I wouldn't have survived querying/revisions/submissions without ___?

My writer friends. They are there for me every single day. I don't see how I could do any of this without them.

Now that you've enjoyed Suze's interview, click here for more inspiration: Lisa and Laura Roecker, Beth Revis, Leah Clifford, Victoria Schwab, Kirsten Hubbard, Susan Adrian, Dawn Metcalf, Kim Harrington, Carrie Harris, Amy Holder, Kathy McCullough, Suzette Saxton and Bethany Wiggins, and Elana Johnson.

Pay it Forward Interviews: Linda Grimes

Welcome to Pay it Forward interview week! Here and all over the writer blogs (links below), you'll be drenched in inspiration and encouragement from others' stories about their publication journeys. There are more than 70(!) writers participating, so clear some time for blog-reading.

Linda Grimes is like my literary, wise, big sister - she signed with her agent about a month before I signed with mine, so before I do anything I stop and ask myself "What would Linda do?" And then I double-check by asking her, too. She's brilliant, lovely and has wicked wit. Enjoy!

1. Tell us about your book.

IN A FIX is a comically sexy...no, sexily comical...no, wait -- oh, all right, it's a bawdy paranormal mystery centered around Ciel Halligan, a do-gooder who just wants to help people, and maybe make a small profit doing it. (A girl's gotta eat.) From a family of "aura adaptors" -- human chameleons who can project the appearance of anyone they touch -- Ciel is perfectly suited to step into her clients' lives and fix their problems for them. As them. Too bad she's not quite as adept at fixing her own.

2. Can you tell us a little bit about your road to publication (finding an agent)?

I'm at the agented-but-still-unsold phase. If you're reading this, you're doing exactly what I did--engaging in the online writing community. The information available at the click of a mouse is amazing. Sites like agentquery.com, as well as the blogs of individual authors, agents, and editors, are incredible resources. Read them!

IN A FIX is actually the book I wrote to keep myself busy while giving my first novel--the one I cut my teeth on--a little distance. The plan was to play around with something light and funny as a kind of writer-ly palate cleanser before I dove into revisions on the first book. Turned out I liked my diversion better, so I decided what the heck, did my online research, and sent out a few queries.

Initially, I got some positive feedback, but mostly of the "I like this, but it's not quite for me" sort. Kept sending out more queries, a few at a time, trying to gauge the response and tinker accordingly. I didn't want to use the scatter-shot method of mass querying, because frankly I thought it would confuse me. So I researched every agent I approached, via both the internet and by peppering my writing buddies -- the ones a little farther down the road to publication -- with annoying questions. I got to know the agents as well as I could without stalking them, just to reassure myself ahead of time I would be happy to have them if they decided to offer.

Waiting for replies from only a few agents at a time can take a while, but I was determined not to find myself in the position of hearing back from someone and wondering, "Huh? Who's that?"

In the end, it was Twitter that came through for me. I started following Michelle Wolfson, Agent Extraordinaire (@WolfsonLiterary). She was so funny I knew I had to try for her. Sent her a query and got a response back right away (apparently Michelle appreciates "bawdy"). After reading my partial, she asked for an exclusive while she read my full. Since some other agents were already reading the full too, I couldn't give it to her. But Michelle was the one who blazed through it -- that made me feel wonderful, I have to tell you -- and DM-ed me on Twitter that she'd like to call me. (And to think, I almost didn't start a Twitter account because I thought it would take too much time away from my writing.)

I was over the moon. Deep down, I'd already decided, after exchanging emails with Michelle as she read my full, that she was the one. She "got" my story, and asked intelligent questions about it. When she called, I was even more certain--she was every bit as funny on the phone as she is on Twitter. But what I really appreciated was, she didn't blow sunshine up my...um, nether region. She didn't make extravagant promises of instant publication. She just explained how we would work together to get my story out there, and I liked the sound of what she told me.

Right now, we're in the revision process, trying to apply enough spit and polish to the manuscript to convince editors it's worth publishing. We'll start submitting soon, and then the waiting will begin again. (Has anyone mentioned how much waiting is involved with writing? This is why it's good to have more than one project going at a time. Writing something new beats the heck out of twiddling your thumbs.)

3. Was there ever a time you felt like giving up?

Honestly? Not really. Oh, there've been low moments, like the time I got a rejection from an agent I hadn't even queried. The agent I had queried liked my book, but it wasn't... quite ... for her. Still, she thought it had enough commercial appeal to show to the head of her agency, who apparently also saw the commercial appeal, but sadly wasn't taking any more clients at that time. (At least, that's what the original agent told me. Maybe she thought it sounded better than "The other agent thought it sucked, too.")

I call that one my "bonus rejection."

Well, I figured if I could survive a two-for-one bonus rejection, no piddly little single rejection was ever going to deter me. And ... well, I'm stubborn. Sure, rejections sting. But ultimately you realize they aren't personal. You take whatever is helpful from them, ignore the rest, and keep on moving. The only way you can really lose is to stop trying.

4. I wouldn't have survived querying/revisions/submissions without:

My fantastic group of fellow writers and crit partners, who've given me support at every step along the way. Thanks, guys! And, of course, chocolate. Oh, and the two-cherry Manhattans made for me by my wonderful husband, Bob, aka the theater god. They help too.

Now that you've enjoyed Linda's interview, click here for more inspiration: Lisa and Laura Roecker, Beth Revis, Leah Clifford, Victoria Schwab, Kirsten Hubbard, Susan Adrian, Dawn Metcalf, Kim Harrington, Carrie Harris, Amy Holder, Kathy McCullough, Suzette Saxton and Bethany Wiggins, and Elana Johnson.

Pay it Forward Interview Week

We've all had those Little Engine That Could moments, where we're telling ourselves, "I think I can. I think I can," even though the Doubt Monster is desperately trying to add an "n't" to the end of that mantra.

This week, YA writer blogs across the net are being sprayed with Doubt Monster repellant in the form of the Pay It Forward Interviews. The brain child of Elana Johnson and Lisa and Laura Roecker this blog interview chain/web focuses on stories of writers at different places on the publication path: from the newly agented to those anxiously counting down the days till their first novel releases.

On my blog, you'll be able to hear stories of five wonderful writers:

3/29 Monday: Linda Grimes

3/30 Tuesday: Susan Adrian

3/31 Wednesday: Trish Doller

4/1 Thursday: Chelsea Campbell

4/2 Friday: Heidi Kling

I hope you stop by each day to see what these talented women had to say. I'm sure you'll find their journeys as inspirational as I do.

And you can find my interview on the fabulous Leah Clifford's blog on Tuesday – she made me write a synopsis in haiku form. I'm not sure I've forgiven her yet.

Wherever you are on your path to publication, I hope you find encouragement in all the interviews this week and apply the collective wisdom to your courageous journey.

Next time that Doubt Monster attacks, remember: patience and perseverance.

I think you can. I think you can.

Revisionland

Confession: I love revising. Love it.

Don't get me wrong, I love drafting too – the suspense of becoming acquainted with new characters and the surprise of figuring out what they'll say and how they'll react. ª

I get the whole Girl Scouts' song "Make new friends…" but I've never had a problem with "but keep the old."

Revisions *contented sigh* are like going home to my friends-since-elementary-school, sitting on a porch and drinking apple cider while we chat and chat.

It's familiar. It's comfortable. And it's engaging. Uncovering new layers, ambitions, motivation. Tightening and interweaving. Discovering threads of nuance I'd already included that need to be enhanced.

Give me colored pens, a large bag of Revision Skittles, and a quiet place to work and I'll stay happily sequestered until St. Matt or the puggles demand some attention or life intervenes. Emerging for bathroom breaks and refills of my mug and Revision Skittles, pausing for Inspiration Walks, Inspiration Workouts and Inspiration Bubble-baths, my mind is full of beloved characters and trouble spots in the manuscript.

And even when I'm away – 26 sixth graders demand a lot of my attention and energy for much of the week – there are scenes and scenarios bubbling away on the back burner of my brain.

So when I'm lacking on Twitter, slacking on my blog and being a delinquent about returning phone calls, don't worry. I haven't been kidnapped by pirates, gotten lost in the woods or come down with an incurable strain of porcine flu.

I'm just ensconced in my revision-cave, sugar-fortified, ink-stained fingers, scribbled-across pages and a smile.

Be back soon.

How to Eat A Cupcake - Team Sparkle Style

The SCBWI winter conference was last week in New York. I was there, as were fellow Team Sparklers: Susan Adrian, Emily Hainsworth and Victoria Schwab… and more than a thousand other writer-people.

It was wonderful.

Just ask Susan:

Victoria:

Emily:

Or Nova Ren Suma, who we dragged away from her deadline to come conferencing with us.

In fact, because they've already done a fabulous job summarizing and describing all the wonderful people, books, laughter, wisdom, and hijinks we discovered, I don't feel the need to re-state it. Procrastination WIN! I will just add this:

How to Eat A Cupcake – Team Sparkle Style.

…because it is a widely accepted fact that all the best writing is fueled by sugar.

If you've never tried my less-mess sandwich technique, you're missing out. Run, don't walk, to the nearest bakery and procure yourself a cupcake.

Then, once the sugar-jitters have faded, sit down and write some sparkly words.

You can thank me later.

Puppy Penalty: An Excess of Adorable

My Super Bowl pick from yesterday: Anyone but Peyton Manning could win.

I'm sure he's a very nice man, but I don't like him. At all. My dislike of him is rabid in a way I normally reserve for the Yankees. That commercial where he dons a wig and refers to himself in third person as "6'1", laser, rocket arm"… *gags*

So, on a year where Peyton was playing and my own dearest Tom wasn't, I was okay with anyone but Indy winning. *

On years like this one – years where my own red, white, and blue boys aren't on the field, I tend to sulk and pout. My interest in the pigskin championship wanes to the commercials between the plays and finding ways to get annoyed at the announcers.

Enter THE PUPPY BOWL.

To the Animal Planet employee who decided America would be interested in watching hours of puppies frolicking in a green pen with football shaped toys, I salute you.

I watched the whole thing yesterday. Twice. Apparently it isn't possible to overdose on adorable.

The Puppy Bowl is also an excellent place to find additions for your List-Of-Future-Dog-Names. What do you mean you don't have a List-Of-Future-Dog-Names? Start one right now. Add Garbanzo, Tater Tot, and Yums.

I want a puppy with each of these names. Actually, I want those puppies! This is the dangerous part of Puppy Bowl. By the time the half-time kittens come on, I'm convinced I need to adopt the entire starting line-up.

Who can really resist a face like these?

Well, besides curmudgeon-y St. Matt who says "Two puggles is more than enough."

Come on! The non-Peyton team won. Doesn't that mean I deserve a victory-pup?

All photos are courtesy of Animal Planet's website, and, if you missed it or need a puppy fix, here are some highlights of the "game": http://animal.discovery.com/videos/puppy-bowl-vi/

*See, I'm showing restraint by not mentioning my compounded dislike of Indy because of Adam Vinitari. I also didn't mention the Oreo commercials.

The Saint and Sensibility at the Austen Exhibit

Like many of the important things in my life, Jane Austen is something I learned from my sister. Unlike Lip Smackers, New Kids on the Block, and training bras, Austen is not something I've outgrown.

I stumbled on Austen accidentally; my sister's anthology of Jane was the thickest book on her bookshelf. I was at a middle school age when big books = better, so I smuggled it out of her room while she was at a cross country meet and probably would've have gotten away with reading and returning it… if I hadn't gushed how much I adored Jane Austen and Elizabeth Bennet and Oh-My-Darcy, in front of the owner of the book.

"Your sister is sense, and you, Tiffers, are pure sensibility," my father said with a laugh. This might be the most profound and truest statement he has ever uttered and I grilled him about it while we drove to the bookstore to purchase my own copies of the books. I hadn't gotten to Elinor and Marianne yet and was trying to determine if Dad was complimenting or insulting me.

Neither. He was stating a fact.

Another true fact, my sister may have recovered her anthology, but Austen was firmly entrenched in my life.

How disappointing it is, however, that The Jane has never been able to infiltrate St. Matt's heart. He's accepted that she pre-dates him in mine. He knows he'll have to see every film version of each of her novels. {Let's pause for a moment and offer a sigh to Mr. Colin Darcy-Firth} He even took the initiative and came to me when Becoming Jane arrived in our little town theater and asked, "So, 7:00 show or 9:00 show?"

Even proofreading each draft of my college thesis: Conjugal versus Consanguineal: Relationships in Austen* did nothing to spark an interest in his saintly heart. Finally, after I made him watch The Jane Austen Book Club and pointed out how Grigg was my very-most-favorite character and he was a boy and read Austen and wouldn't-he-at-least-try-reading-one, St. Matt relented. VICTORY! I must say, my pout was exceptionally adorable that day.

Not one to waste a moment, I scrambled for my copy of Northanger Abbey. "It's got danger and excitement and it's in this creepy gothic setting," I gushed as he nodded and got leashes to take the dogs out.

This would not do. He'd said he'd try reading Austen. I wanted him to try reading Austen now!

So, I waited inside the door with the book in my hand and as soon as it opened and the puggles-bounded in, I began: "No one who had ever seen Catherine Morland in her infancy, would have supposed her born to be a heroine…"

I continued reading as he walked around the downstairs turning off all the lights, while he climbed upstairs, brushed his teeth, put on pajamas, and climbed into bed.

"One more chapter?"

He turned off the lights.

Yet, king among men that he is, he voluntarily spent Saturday squiring me to the Morgan Museum to see A Woman's Wit: Jane Austen's Life and Legacy .

I swooned and drooled over each of the display cases, pausing between contented sighs to admire a photograph of Mr. Colin Darcy-Firth, and staring open-mouthed at the drawings of Isabel Bishop who captured the characters exactly as they look in my head.

St. Matt patiently studied the drawing of her contemporaries and amused himself by trying to decipher Miss Austen's handwriting – he was disappointed to discover the first five lines he decoded were informing her sister, Cassandra, about a lovely piece of lace.

I left the exhibit all smiles and spinning. St. Matt left with a saintly grin.

"Now do you want to read her?" I asked, as I skipped out to the sidewalk.

St. Matt tugged me out of the path of speed-walking pedestrian and laughed. "No. Thank you, but no. Not at all."

But before my lip could quiver or fold downward into a pout, St. Matt had twirled me round and added, "But, that exhibit was not nearly as bad as I expected. I enjoyed it."

A girl can hope. And dream. And plot.

I'm sure St. Matt's already working on his counter-strategy. I may be sensibility, but he is sense, down the very logical core of his Austen-free heart.

*I think this was the title of my thesis. It was lost in The Great Un-Backed-Up Laptop Meltdown of 2005 and I have not gone back to Lehigh to search down the bound copy. Do they have a bound copy? *sobs*

Pre-Order-Palooza

I'm not going to do a New Year Resolutions post. I'm certainly not going to put in writing that I intend to blog more in 2010 – though I do – or post the mental lists of goals that are growing ever-longer in my head.

Instead, I'll post my list of books coming out in 2010 that I am truly, truly impatient to read. Squirmy, fidget-pants impatient. Exasperated sigh, is-it-release-day-yet? impatient. IMPATIENT!

Some Girls Are by Courtney Summers (1/5)

All Unquiet Things by Anna Jarzab (1/12)

After Ever After by Jordan Sonnenblick (2/1)

Eleventh Grade Burns by Heather Brewer (2/9)

Gone by Lisa McMann (2/9)

Heist Society by Ally Carter (2/9)

Scarlett Fever by Maureen Johnson (3/1)

Before I Fall by Lauren Oliver (3/2)

Dragon Factory by Jonathan Maberry (3/2)

The Dead-Tossed Waves by Carrie Ryan (3/9)

Brightly Woven by Alexandra Bracken (3/23)

Nine Rules to Break When Romancing a Rake by Sarah MacLean (3/30)

This World We Live In by Susan Beth Pfeffer (4/1)

Will Grayson, Will Grayson by John Green & David Levithan (4/6)

Radiant Shadows by Melissa Marr (4/20)

Sisters Grimm Book 8: The Inside Story by Michael Buckley (5/1)

The Kane Chronicles, Book One: The Red Pyramid by Rick Riordan (5/4)

White Cat by Holly Black (5/4)

The Rise of Renegade X by Chelsea Campbell (5/11)

Spirit Bound by Richelle Mead (5/18)

Perchance to Dream by Lisa Mantchev (5/25)

Sea by Heidi Kling (6/10)

Only the Good Spy Young by Ally Carter (6/15)

The Grimm Legacy by Polly Shulman (7/8)

Linger by Maggie Stiefvader (7/20)

Jealously by Lili St. Crow (7/29)

Guardian of the Gate by Michelle Zink (8/1)

Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins (8/24)

Clockwork Angel by Cassandra Clare (8/31)

Ascendant by Diane Peterfreund (9/?)

Wired by Robin Wasserman (9/14)

Rot & Ruin by Jonathan Maberry (10/5)

Behemoth by Scott Westerfeld (10/?)

Fixing Delilah Hannaford by Sarah Ockler (fall '10)

The DUFF by Kody Keplinger (fall '10)

So, what have I forgotten?

I'm sure there are heaps more that should be on this list. Meanwhile, St. Matt is looking hopefully at its brevity and making a New Year's Resolution that this will be the year he figures out a way to convince me to buy less books…

Good luck to him.

~Happy 2010~

p.s. Books I foolishly overlooked or didn't know about 'til later - I'll add in orange. Books I've read will be changed to purple.

Some Books Are... Important

Apparently I read books by Courtney Summers before parent-teacher conferences. This was never something I planned, but I read Cracked Up To Be last spring before portfolio conferences and here it is, the night before I spend 10 hours telling parents all about their kiddos, and I'm curled up with an ARC of Some Girls Are.

I stopped a third of the way into the book and sent her an e-mail: "I find myself terrified to stop reading & equally terrified to continue." Then I paced the NTB for a full 30 seconds before picking up the book again.

When I came up for air the second time (it had gotten dark out and I needed to turn on the lights) I realized why this book is like a punch in the gut.

Courtney's writing is honest. It's vivid and so tangible it seems like you can reach out and touch the characters' pain. Or maybe their pain reawakens an echo of your own. High school isn't pretty, it isn't easy… no matter how pretty the students are or how easy Those Few make it seem.

As I immersed myself in Some Girls Are I couldn't escape connecting with the characters or seeing strains of myself in them – all those things that mean the book is well-written and absorbing. But, if you think seeing yourself in these characters is a good thing, you haven't read the book yet.

Which is not to say anything bad about the book – it's gorgeous and brilliant in its realism. Summers is, as always, my hero in her ability to show the things I'd rather not look at, think about, reflect on. She's genius at it.

Thank God for her.

Read it…

…And remember those times in high school when making it from your locker to homeroom was too exhausting. Not because you were up late studying, but because you didn't know what you'd find there.

Remember the time in bio freshman year when you flipped through a friend's FiveStar organizer to write her a note and found the "Things I hate about Tiffany" list. And because you were too busy remembering how to make your lungs function, you just shut it and velcroed the tab across the cover and never read it, or confronted her, or did anything but feel guilty and wonder who else had seen it.

Remember the times when you weren't the victim but the tormentor, because the guy you crushed on liked someone else, so it felt like your right to hate her. More than right, it was your duty. What's so great about her? Did you hear…?

We were or are or will be part of that system. And as I turned pages and saw myself in those words, I marveled that any of us make it out unscathed. I wonder how deep the marks go.

And as I sat there wondering, my e-mail blinked with a new message. It was from My Court, the one of my high school days, not the one who authored this book. My Court had stumbled upon a blog I'd written back in April about life and high school and such.

Her comment made me smile. Made me remember the day we spent throwing handfuls of loose glitter at my bedroom ceiling, while laughing so hard we couldn't stand up, and singing lines from "I'll back you up" when we caught our breaths again. Some of the glitter stuck to the clouds we'd painted, but most of it ended up on us. We went out to dinner like that, giggling as we shook our heads and freed cascades of hair and sparkles.

It is a perfect memory. High school has those, too.

And on the nights when I used to lay on my bed staring up at the ceiling wondering what my future held and how I'd ever get there, I could see those clouds and smile.

High school is hard. High school is painful. But if you're really, really lucky, you don't just graduate with scars and marks, but with those perfect memories and friends who can look you in the eye and sing comfortably out of key:

Do what you will, always
Walk where you like, your steps
Do as you please, I'll back you up

THAT is what I wish for all real-life Reginas, Lizs, Michaels, Jeanettes, Martas, and even the Karas and Annas. I want everyone to have someone who sees them with glitter in their, hair, paint on their face, in old, ratty clothing and suggests they go out to eat at the most teen-frequented restaurant in town. And I want them all to agree without hesitation– because they want to – because they're loved, respected, accepted, and safe.

Everyone deserves that. If I could bottle it up and distribute it with hugs, I would.

Since I can't… I'll do the next best thing: tell you to read Some Girls Are (release date January, 5, 2010) and let it change you.

Falls and Marks

I fell during my run today. One stride I was rushing forward, chattering to St. Matt about an amazing book I'd read yesterday and admiring the foliage; then I was launched into sideways Superman dive, grating over leaves, roots and twigs. I'm sure it was very graceful.

I popped up, shook my limbs, shrugged at a suddenly pale St. Matt, and resumed my run and the conversation: "And it was so consuming; I couldn't turn pages--

He interrupted to point out that I'd given him yet another heart attack and to repeat: "Don't look at your leg. No. Don't. I said DON'T look at it."

I have a weensy issue with blood. Okay, it's a major issue. Bruises, however, inspire macabre fascination. My new hobby is watching my legs turn purple.

But it isn't painful; it isn't even unexpected. I fall A LOT, especially on a trail run – and trail runs in the autumn are their own brand of treachery: tree roots and holes stay hidden under a layer of leaves, just waiting for their opportunity to send me sprawling.

Yet, despite four (is it five?) sprained ankles, countless scrapes, and bruises from indigo to lilac, there's no keeping me off the trails.

A straight out, straight back road run? One where I'll know each step that takes me away and brings me back to the start? Boring.

I prefer runs just like how I prefer my books: full of the unexpected. They'll have a start, they'll have a conclusion, but the moments in between should be an adventure.

I want my heroine to dare to turn left at the fallen log, just to see if it is a real path. I want her to start running up a hill whose peak is hidden by trees – not knowing if she'll have the stamina to reach the top, or even how far away it is. I want split second decisions: stay by the stream or turn toward the covered bridge. And challenges: fording puddles, striding through mud, sliding up a rain-slick hill. She should stop short to avoid spider webs that appear inches from her face, pause to pat the occasional dog sharing her path, and be willing to get her feet wet and her legs muddy. Scratches from that pricker-bush incident should be worn with pride.

It's these books that stay with me; the ones where I can't predict what the hero or heroine will do next. The ones whose characters take risks, do the unexpected, but never forget to notice the beauty along the way. They fall, get back up, continue their adventures.

These books fill my head with questions and what-if's. They linger in my mind and are book-bullied into others' hands. These are the books that leave marks on me long after The End.

But unlike trail runs… the marks don't require band-aids.

Twitter-cation Comes with Umbrella-Drinks, Right?

It feels weird not to check Twitter before bed.

This the tweet I almost posted last night – before I remembered that in order to do so, I'd have to log-in to Twitter.

Immediately afterward I debated whether I was allowed to read e-mail notifications of DM's. (Can I?)

This could be a long week.

When I saw Nova Ren Suma discussing a Twitter-cation last week, I thought, how sad! I'll miss her and Tiffany Trent's commentary. Then others climbed aboard and I thought, how brave.

Last night Tye and Victoria asked me if I was in, and, demonstrating my absolute inability to resist peer-pressure, I caved.

It feels weird.

My mind automatically forms sub-140 character soundbites:

Who was the idiot who decided orange and cranberry belong in the same muffin?

Confession: I have officially eaten more Revision Skittles than we distributed to trick-or-treaters.

Has anyone read GIRL IN THE ARENA? I like the story, but am struggling with the lack of ""marks.

How will I share my excitement about the new Jesse McCartney song "Body Language"? Or confess my St. Matt-mocked crush on him? Or share how I caught St. Matt humming the tune after I played it on repeat for an hour. *gigglefit*

The worst part, however, will be not knowing what's going on with everyone else. So if you could all e-mail me regular updates of your day, that'd be great. I won't even limit you to 140 characters.

Why I Don't Watch Scary Movies

I was driving by myself to meet friends after school one day this week. As I neared a normally-busy intersection, I was startled to realize my car was the only one in sight in all four directions. In the ninety seconds between this stop sign and my arrival at the next intersection – a five points crossroad with traffic lights – I'd convinced myself there was one explanation for why I hadn't passed a single person or vehicle….

The zombie apocalypse had started.

I locked my car doors, gripped my steering wheel with white knuckles and tried to persuade myself not to run the red light. Peering out my windshield at the sidewalks, I found apocalyptic proof in the windowboxes of mums, the cornstalks tied to porches, and pumpkins on front steps.

By the time I reached the restaurant my breath was coming in hiccups and my pounding pulse had turned my face and neck all sorts of splotchy red. When my friends asked if I was okay, I took a deep breath, looked around at the street – now milling with people pushing strollers and carrying briefcases and shopping bags – and nodded. How could I begin to explain that I'd envisioned zombies overtaking our sleepy town at 4:00 on a sunny Tuesday afternoon?

My imagination is overactive. Like Max's in Where the Wild Things Are or Harold's in The Purple Crayon. This isn't such a bad thing when dreaming of princesses or unicorns, but a mere mention of those things that lurk once the lights go off and they become tangible and terrifying.

I've always been this way. My father taught me a passage from Dune while I was in elementary school and each night as I took our dog out before heading up to bed, I'd whisper into the darkness:

I must not fear.
Fear is the mind killer.
Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past
I will turn my inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain

Halloween is a challenge for children like me. We pick the friendly costumes –- I believe I was a puppy on four separate years. We skirt the houses with spooky décor and haunted music – no candy bar is worth the trauma. We seek out friends who won't laugh if we scream, or cry, or want to go home early. And despite all of these preparations, there's always that older kid hiding in the bushes with the bloody mask, or the parent who's cut a hole in the bottom of the candy bowl, so when you reach in to take a Tootsie Pop, she reaches up and grabs your hand. The bowls I sent flying with candy scattered everywhere, were so not my fault.

Family stories debate whether it was Child's Play the movie or just a preview I happened across early one morning when I was seven and up too early for my own good. It doesn't really matter if it was a two-minute ad or the whole film, because the result was the same: my younger brother's My Buddy doll made me hyperventilate. We had to get rid of it.

In middle school I watched Poltergeist at a Halloween party. I have slept with my closet door shut every single night since then.

For the most part, as long as I avoid scary situations, everything goes well, but some times scary sneaks in. In high school, scary was suddenly "cool." Despite parental warnings and don't-you-complain-when-you-can't-sleep threats, I went with a group of friends to see Scream.

I didn't complain to my parents, but after they went to bed, I turned on every light in the house and waited for my older sister to come home from her date. Then I begged to sleep on the floor of her room. And whined further until she let me turn her closet light on too – of course the closet door had to be shut.

And scary movie DATES? Disaster. Guys tended to love that I gripped their hands with all the strength in mine. The fact that I flinched against their shoulders, buried my face in their shirts, and shrieked – that was 'adorable.'

But afterward? Linger in a car for post-movie conversation and kisses? Had they seen the same movie I had? Cars are not monster-proof. And when they walked me to my door, all I could think about was getting safely on the other side of it and throwing the deadbolt. And, if I'm going to admit I'm a wimp to the level of infinity, I might as well confess the ultimate scary movie date blunder.

Um, I bit someone. Not like a vampire. It was just that my hand was being held and I needed it to cover my eyes. My frantic tugging was interpreted a sign to hold my fingers tighter. On the screen a knife had been unsheathed; blood was imminent. I was in a state of panic where words were not an option, and in this state, applying my teeth to the back of his hand seemed completely logical.

There was not a second date.

St. Matt and I have seen one scary movie together. Make that ½ a scary movie. Less than an hour into the film, I decided I'd had enough. I told him I needed a breather, released his hand from my circulation-stopping death grip, and ran for the lobby.

I headed for the cardboard marquis of a Disney movie, planning to stare at cartooned innocence until the credits played. Before I reached it, someone grabbed my arm from behind. I screamed. As every patron in the lobby turned toward the white-face teen in front of The Tigger Movie display, I turned and found St. Matt suppressing a grin.

"You're scared. Let's go back to campus," he said – holding out his hand. How could I not kiss him right there in the lobby? (And marry him four years later).

So, I read scary stories during daylight hours. My jack o'lanterns have smiles. My Halloween decorations are cute instead of creepy. The only Stephen King I've read is On Writing and you can cross Zombieland off the list of places you'll run into me.

If, by some miracle, you manage to drag me to a scary movie someday and I bite you, please keep in mind that this isn't a sign of the zombie apocalypse. Just let me cover my eyes and no one will get hurt.

Better yet, meet me in the lobby after it's over. I'll be the one hiding behind the G-rated marquis and repeating I must not fear in a voice that's slightly quivery.

Show me the Marshmallows!

In class last week, I showed the kiddos this video*.



When it was over and the giggles subsided, I asked them why they thought I'd shown it. (Sometimes I'll show them something with no real motivation in mind, except to see what they'll guess, but this was not one of those times).

"To show that if you wait, things get better?"
"Yeah, patience is important."
"Nope."
"It's like in writing, you need to keep working when you're stuck."
"Nope."
"You're gonna give us marshmallows?"
"Nice try."

Since it was snack time, the kiddos' eyes shot towards the baggies of Cheez-its and containers of carrots waiting on their desks. "Can we have a hint?"
"How many words were spoken in video clip?"
"16?"
"Not a lot."
"So did we know what those kids were thinking and feeling?"
"Oh yeah!" Nods of agreement, animated recounting of favorite parts.
"How?"
"The way they acted. Like the kid who sniffed his marshmallow."
"And the one that licked it."
"I like the kid who won't even look at it… but he's still holding it to make sure it doesn't go anywhere."

"So, even without saying: I am impatient, you could tell how they were feeling?"
Nods and my-teacher-is-a-moron eye rolls.
"And in real life, do you need your friends to tell you that they're annoyed or scared or surprised?"
"No."
"Because you can tell from their actions and body language, right? Let's try something. Show me what you look like when you're angry."
Grimaces and giggles.
"What about surprised?"
Gasps and louder giggles.
"Hmmm, because in your narratives I'm seeing lots of I was so mad and Mom looked sad. How could you show me that instead of telling me?"

As the pieces clicked in their heads, they reached for their notebooks with eager fingers and waited for their cue to head off and write.

Before I could give it, a hand shot up: "Mrs. Schmidt, is this how you can always tell when someone needs help in class – even before they ask?"

"Exactly! You show me you're confused with your expressions and actions. And because teachers are psychic…"


We all need this reminder sometimes; it's easier to tell than show. That night I went home and checked my own new WIP for places I'd taken telling-shortcuts. And of course I found some. We all do. I found myself trying to rationalize: how many ways can there really be to show fear? Sorrow? Anticipation?

Then I thought back to the video I'd shown my class: There are 11 kids who face the marshmallow test. They each express their frustration and impatience in a unique way. Why would the characters in my story be any different?

When I eliminated the excuses and shortcuts, I found myself doing a lot more reflecting -–how would each character show his/her emotions? The more time I spend thinking this way, the more I learn about my characters.

… And soon, just like with the kiddos in my class, there's no need for the characters to raise their hands and tell me how their feeling, because I know exactly what they'll say or do when faced with a surprise, a challenge, an obstacle.

Now, excuse me while I go make Indoor S'mores.**


*Thank you, Julie Weathers, for posting the link on Twitter
**I dare you to try watching that video 8 times in a row to count the number of kids and not come away craving marshmallows.